As many folks know, some years back I wrote a Human Development text that a number of Mt Sophia students have used. It seriously needs updating, so I have a team working on it.

We’d like to include some booklists that the students might like to read to increase their experience with the curriculum. (Besides- sharing ideas with each other here is good, too.)

What are your favorite books on the topics here?

-How to survive pre-adolescence

-Adolescent topics- dating, faith, understanding self and life

-Parenting

-What’s it like to be a grown up?

-How to understand and help the elderly

Thanks for the help!

Related posts:

• Great Books
• A Laundry Room Life?
• On the Reading of Old Books

We philosophers are supposed to be able to deal with death. After all, Socrates — the father of Western Philosophy in general — said philosophy is the activity of preparing to die. Philosophy makes you the kind of person who knows the truth and can face death without fear.

Heidegger, on the other hand — who is the father of contemporary Continental Philosophy specifically — thought that the only way to live authentically is to face the finitude of human nature, which death represents.

While I’ve found Socrates and Heidegger helpful in different ways over the years — and while I found my philosophical training helpful over the past couple weeks — there are two things I’ve been even more grateful for while dealing with losing Mrs. Kitchin.

Those two things are rituals and communities.

____

The Kitchin family and I have gone through a string of rituals, beginning with the bedside vigil, the final prayer, the crying-commiserating-and-comforting, the phoning of those who should know, the cleaning of the now-emptier home, the accepting of condolences, the accepting of food, the scheduling of viewing and funeral, the viewing and funeral themselves (which included the giving of eulogies, the placing of flowers, pallbearing, etc.), and so forth.

And the people who share our communities have gone through rituals as well. They’ve gone through the sending of flowers, the sending of condolence cards, the preparing of meals, the attending of the viewing, the attending of the funeral, the phoning to offer assistance, the offering of advice, and so forth.

____

All of these things are rituals. They are events or practices or traditions that help us know what to do and how to act in a time that would otherwise leave us listless and confused. And we help each other get through the difficult time by instigating these rituals and going through them with each other.

If we lived in a different culture, of course, we’d have different rituals, and the people in our communities would help us by instigating and going through them with us. But that doesn’t mean the rituals are “all relative” or “not important.” In fact, it shows just how important having rituals in which to participate with the other members of your communities is. It’s so important, in fact, that people in every culture have come up with appropriate rituals for their own cultures.

Whatever the culture we live in, therefore, there is a collection of things it is “fitting and proper” to do — and having something fitting and proper to do together is a great gift. Sometimes it is comforting to know “what happens next,” or “what to do now,” to have other people know the same thing with you, and to have others recognize that you’ve done the right thing (the thing that was fitting and proper).

And it is a wonderful thing to have rituals that help us know how to show each other that we care, and that help us actually take care of each other.

____

Even though we homeschool people tend to be willing to break with tradition — in that we are willing to leave behind the traditional school choices (”Public or private? Make your choice!”) and strike out on our own — we also tend to be good at forming communities and setting up traditions and rituals (co-op on Thursdays, choir on Mondays, fieldtrips once a month, going to x activity, meeting with y for portfolio reviews, preparing for the PSATs, etc.) that are fitting and proper for our homeschooling culture.

And while I’ve always been proud of us for our independence, I have a new appreciation of how good we are at “community and ritual.” Let’s keep that up.

^{[PS: I liked my mother's comment so much that I changed "ceremonies" to "rituals" on 08/07/10. "Ritual" is the word I was looking for, and "ceremonies" are a type of "ritual."]}

-Micah Tillman

^{[Micah is a Mt. Sophia graduate who is working on his doctoral dissertation at The Catholic University of America. He also gets to teach philosophy (as a "teaching fellow"), which he loves.]}

Related posts:

• On the Reading of Old Books
• Why Are We Here? (Part II)
• Quote for the Week

I encourage you to read the first eleven verses of John chapter 12. The passage is about the woman who annoited Jesus with an expensive perfume. Judas was angry at this reckless act the woman had done. He asked why the perfume couldn’t have at least been sold so that the money could be given to the poor. What a waste! But Mary did just the right thing.

I find myself thinking like Judas a lot. I have thought a lot about what I should be studying in college, what to do with my life. I have spent so much time worrying about whether I’m doing the right thing. I was afraid of doing the wrong thing and failing. I prayed that God would use me according to my abilities. I didn’t want to be wasted. Then I realized that my thinking was all wrong.

It is not our business to ensure that the little we have is put to good use. It’s easy to “surrender” ourselves with the condition that God use is us the way we have in mind. But we cannot say to God, “Wouldn’t my talents and abilities be better used in this setting?” We can only say, “God, here am I, all of me. Take me and use me as you please.” It is only when we pour ourselves so recklessly at his feet like this that we begin to be of use. It doesn’t matter if we feel like all our best work goes for naught. Give it to God, obey him, and he will make it something beautiful.

Related posts:

• Just Do It- Kyle Thorp
• Mt. Sophia Academy- What is Our Mission?
• Why Are We Here? (Part II)

Students’ Unique Abilities

We firmly believe that God has placed into each child unique and beautiful abilities. No two students are alike, but they are all placed here on purpose by a purposeful God. At MSA, we want to help our kids find and develop those gifts as they learn, love, pray, socialize, serve, and grow.

Creating a Culture for Christ

Our unified and clear purpose is to create a culture that will look like and advance Christ’s kingdom. As the students (and adults) grow, so will that culture. There will be a culture for Christ within each student. Then through those students will come a culture for Christ around them.

Related posts:

• Mt. Sophia Academy- What is Our Mission?
• It’s 1/3 About You
• Explaining Academic “Levels” at Mt. Sophia Academy

This is our mission in a sound bite. And every word is “intentional”.

Please allow me to review it with you…

Intentionally

“Intentionally” has several different meanings which apply here.

One meaning is “doing things with a purpose, towards a goal”. We are working towards the goal of having our students’ abilities developed well.

Another meaning is “looking at something, putting one’s attention on something”. That fits also. We are looking at each student’s uniqueness to see what God wants to develop there.

Maximizing

“Maximizing” also has a couple of pertinent meanings.

One meaning is “to increase to the greatest possible amount”. I doubt this one can actually be reached this side of heaven, because our children have God’s abilities working along with their own abilities. Still, we want to steward those gifts.

“To make the fullest use of” is the other definition. We are aiming in this direction for sure.

Here is a thought, “What if the students at Mt. Sophia come to know their God-given gifts and abilities and work to enjoy them?”

Woo-Hoo! That will be fun!

Related posts:

• Explaining Academic “Levels” at Mt. Sophia Academy
• Why Are We Here? (Part II)
• Dr. Gerald Culley Teaches on History, Philosophy and Mt. Sophia- Part I

Facebook is starting something new called “Connections.” And if it were only that — just a way to connect a little more with the outside world — then I’d probably be on board. But these “connections” aren’t just that. They’re a way of making more of your information public.

So, whatever you think your privacy settings are…if you haven’t checked them since May 1, then you’re wrong. Facebook opts you IN by default.

May 2-8 is the first annual Choose Privacy week and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

What you should know and what you can do about it:

Facebook Is Trying Hard to Make Your Information Public

I used to have information about my hometown, education, and employer on my profile. Now I don’t. Why? Because now Facebook is rolling out a policy forcing users to make all of this information in “connections” & “pages.”

What’s wrong with that? Well, it’s public by default. And it’s not just public to your friends; it’s public to anyone who looks for you on Facebook (whether or not they’re logged in or part of your networks) and it’s public to anyone using a search engine.

And you can’t make them private. So how do you make it so that only your friends can see that info?

You can’t. You either share with everyone or no one. So, Facebook made me delete that information— my hometown, education, and employer—since I refused to make it universally public. No more hometown, education, or employer.

Furthermore, my interests and activities would have gone the same way—they would have been made public to everyone on the planet—had I not already deleted those sections.

You see what I mean about Facebook seeing us as a product? Facebook is no longer a tool to share information with our friends; it’s geared towards making information about us public. That’s not user-oriented; their corporate customers are the people who want our personal information to be public.

Facebook Is Opting You Into Their New Privacy Settings

Besides making your Pages (and friends) public with no hope of changing them to private, Facebook is opting you INTO their new opennness, rather than allowing you to choose for yourself. Their policy is that when they update to make things more public, your info is automatically less public unless you change it.

When you used the old Facebook Connect to leave a comment or do something else on a partner site, the partner site could keep some of the information about you for 24 hours. Now they can keep everything forever.

The claim is that this lets you personalize your web experience. Sites can look at your area, interests, etc, and choose how to display content just for you. If you want that, then take advantage of it; just remember when putting information in your Facebook profile that sites you connect to via Facebook Connect, and applications you use in Facebook, can now pull that information and save it.

I’ll talk a little more about the specifics in the section on things you can opt-out of.

Facebook Wants to Shape the Way You See the Web

Facebook wants to be the nexus that pulls things together. Facebook Connect is meant to personalize your browsing experience, and it’s not altogether a bad idea. There is a ton of information out there. (Google does something like this if you enable remembering Web history.)

Facebook and its partner sites will be personalizing based on your Facebook profile and your browsing patterns. But from a practical standpoint, this may not give them all the information necessary to make a call about what you really want from your news sites, etc. Sure, I’ll read celebrity gossip on CNN, but when I go there I scan all the sections for interesting headlines. I don’t want International News getting sidelined if I don’t click on it enough.

When it comes to implementation, this means what I said above—sharing your private information and allowing partner sites to do whatever the heck they want with it.

What’s Wrong With Making Everything Public?

The world isn’t bunnies and happiness. It’s profit and marketing and theft. And while the internet is full of awesome people, it’s also full of scammers and spammers. It was incredibly easy for a random person to hack Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail. How? He just used the password reset on Yahoo & filled in the details with info that was available online.

Strangers and strange websites don’t need to know your birthdate, your home town, your employment history, your current employer, your interests, your activities, etc. There’s no need for the information to be out there, and it could put you at greater risk of being turned down for a job, hacked, scammed, robbed, or having your identity stolen.

Suppose your future hiring manager sees one of your Facebook groups listed in Google and doesn’t agree with that group; they may not be allowed to use that info to turn you down for a job, but it could still form a bad impression in their mind. And if someone equally qualified doesn’t have public info that rubs the manager the wrong way, who will get the job? Or if you post details on your out-of-town trip…well, with your hometown and other identifying info available to the world, it’d be easy enough for a thief to look you up in an address book.

Is this paranoid? I prefer to think of it as practical. What actually needs to be out there? Who actually needs to see it? Am I better taking steps to protect my data? This is like locking your apartment even though you live in a locked building. You can choose to trust all your neighbors and their guests and hope that no one breaks through the front door, but it’s practical to take some precautions.

Why is Facebook Doing This?

Because they want to be bigger. Most companies aspire to be bigger and better and more profitable. If the primary way you interact with the web is through your Facebook account, then not only does Facebook get a lot more activity, traffic, and advertising revenue (!!!), but they also become your go-to source for the internet. They want to be the next AOL. Maybe they’re forgetting that the reason AOL died is because that’s not what most people want.

And if making your private information public is the price they have to pay, then they’re willing to risk making you upset in the hopes that you’ll just give up on privacy all together.

So, How Can You Protect Your Privacy On Facebook?

Now that we’ve been through all the bad stuff, here’s what the Facebook privacy settings currently are, where to find them, and what you should look for in each section. If you just want to delete your account, visit this page and read the whole set of instructions because Facebook doesn’t like deleting accounts and makes it a little complicated.

Let’s get started. Click on “Account” on the far right of the blue navigation bar that runs across the top of your screen on Facebook. This is where you’ll find the three Settings sections: Account Settings, Privacy Settings, & Application Settings. I’ll go through them in that order. If you haven’t changed these since May 1, you need to go through them again.

Account Settings

This area doesn’t have much that’s important in it, but here are a few things to check.

Settings -> Password: On the settings tab, you can change your password. Make it something strong. Here’s a pretty good article on strong passwords.

Networks: You don’t have to do anything here, but consider whether or not you want to be in all the networks you’re in. You can’t make those private.

Notifications: I think it’s a good idea to err on the side of getting too many notifications. That way you know every time you’ve been tagged in a photo, etc. If you don’t like the photo, just untag yourself. If someone wrote something on your wall you don’t want there, delete. You can find all that when you login, too, but if you don’t visit Facebook often then notifications are your friend.

And that’s about it. Let’s move on to the much more intense…

Privacy Settings

Personal Information and Posts: Here you can control who can see your Bio, Birthday, Interested In & Looking For, Religious and Political Views, Photo Albums, Posts, whether friends can post on your wall (and who can see it and the comments on it). If you choose Friends of Friends or networks, then you’re giving up a certain amount of privacy. People you don’t know will be able to see it. (These are only the settings for humans, we’ll get to the website settings later).

You can choose to make things visible to “Only Me,” meaning that in theory no one else can see them. Like your birthday, which you can’t edit or delete.

Now, a word on Photo Albums in “Personal Information and Posts”. Click on the “Edit Settings” button to be taken to a page where you can edit your settings for each album individually. They default to “Everyone”!

Contact Information: This one is pretty self-explanatory. I’d actually remove most of this information from your profile altogether (the first section, from IM Screenname through Website). If not, I recommend sticking to Friends only.

There are two options in this section for who can add you as a friend and who can send you a message. Because I recommending locking everything else down so thoroughly, I actually suggest keeping these two open.

You may want to limit your child’s friend requests to a specific network, but keeping these open mean that even if you choose NOT to be Facebook friends with someone, they’ll be able to get in touch with you if they need to. That way you don’t have to friend someone just so that they can get ahold of you.

The last section is about your e-mail address(es). If you already allowed people to contact you on Facebook then there’s no actual need for displaying your e-mail. However you may find it convenient and provided you’re willing to risk spam, etc, it’s not as dangerous a choice as displaying a lot of other personal information.

Friends, Tags and Connections: Another pretty self-explanatory section. I recommend setting everything to Friends. Photos and videos in which you’re tagged will still be visible to friends of friends if they’re friends of the friends who uploaded the photos/videos.

Applications and Websites: This section is very important! Even if YOU only share some things with your friends, THEY can share your information too! Applications and connected sites can view anything made visible to Everyone, plus information about your “Name, Profile Picture, Gender, Current City, Networks, Friend List, and Pages” and can ask to see more. (Now that they’re forcing you to set things like your education, employment, interests, and activities as “Connections,” which are Pages, Applications can see those too.)

The “Learn What You Share” section is covered in this article and in a section below, so I’m going to skip it.

I suggest unchecking everything in the “What your friends can share about you through applications and websites” section. There’s no need for your friends to do that. Blocking Applications and Ignoring Friends isn’t necessary, but it’s good to know it’s there if you find yourself being swamped with invitations to use an application or have one friend who keeps trying to get you to join the next Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc.

The MOST important option in this section is at the bottom: “Instant Personalization Pilot Program.” Click on it and uncheck the box. Otherwise you’re giving partner sites you visit access to the information I mentioned a few paragraphs ago. And they can store this information as long as they like (even if you delete it off Facebook).

Search: This helps you control who can see you in searches on Facebook and online. I decided to set my search results on Facebook to Friends and Networks. That’s because I’m not really looking for new Facebook friends and I can friend them myself if I want. However there’s nothing wrong with setting the Facebook one to “Everyone,” if you want to make sure your friends can find you.

Uncheck the public search results one unless you’ve got a particular reason for people to find you on Facebook through Google. People wanting to be your Facebook friend will search on Facebook.

Block: Fortunately I haven’t had to use this one. Unless there’s a specific person or e-mail address you want to block on Facebook (like an ex, a stalker, or someone you’re generally trying to avoid), you can skip this section.

Application Settings

Applications are allowed to access a lot of your data. Application developers aren’t held accountable for how they use this information.

Use the drop-down list in this section and select “Authorized.” Remove every application with a little X mark unless you implicitly trust the application developer. There are a few that are built into Facebook and you can’t uncheck. That’s ok, those are just Facebook functionalities.

Other Recommended Reading

I suggest checking out these other articles on Facebook:

1. Things You Need to Know About Facebook — by the Electronic Frontier Foundation (an excellent resource on online privacy)
2. Top Ten Reasons You Should Quit Facebook
3. Facebook Security Flaw Publicizes Private Chats — just another reason to be careful what you say or do on Facebook

Related posts:

• What to do When Visiting a Friend in the Hospital
• Helpful Tips for Cooking for a Crowd
• Help Me Out Here?

———————————-

While living in Charlottesville, Virginia in the summer of 2008, I was confronted with an idea: local eating.

In C-Ville, as in many other cities around the country, there is a push to “Buy Local.” There it took the form of restaurants whose menus depended on seasonal produce; a beautiful, bountiful farmer’s market filled with food and drink that was created in ways that honored God’s Creation; and grocery stores and markets that sourced locally, when possible.

Since that summer, I have been on a quest to eat locally.

I have joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program, where I get eggs and produce each week from a local farm.   I shop at farmer’s markets.  I support the grocery stores in my area that source their products locally and regionally (and fair-trade for imports).

I also serve on the board of directors for The Greenway Table, a non-profit organization dedicated to providing quality (read: organic, tasty and sustainably-raised) food for our community and to educating young people about the origins of their food.  We run a summer day camp, instructing middle-school students in the art and science of growing, harvesting and preparing fresh vegetables. We also are working with the local school system to introduce curriculum that focuses on food sources and healthy eating habits.

“What does this have to do with homeschooling,” you may ask.  Or, “What does this have to do with changing the world?  Aren’t these ideas a bunch of yuppyish hogwash, trendy, simplistic answers to bigger problems?”

Hardly.  Joel Salatin, dirt farmer, hero of the localvore movement and homeschooler, has called local eating- “opting out.” As in, “I am opting out of the industrial food industry.”

And, as Salatin has pointed out, this decision to “opt out” is easier for homeschoolers, since they’ve already opted out once in choosing to homeschool.

I like this term “opting out.” Many homeschoolers have already opted out of things that are culturally normative: choosing to not have a television or cable; making decisions about the kinds of media you allow into your home; most importantly, opting out of  school systems so that you can educate your children at home.

These decisions aren’t about sheltering your kids from the reality of the world.  Hopefully, these choices to opt-out of cultural practices that are damaging has the effect of moving us out into the world with more clarity, with more confidence in who we are.

These choices to be different, to stand out against a pervasive cultural tide, far from making us socially irrelevant, make us catalysts for change, persons for whom a history of choosing (as opposed to letting things happen) has empowered us to make changes in our world.

So, you’ve opted out once.  Or twice.  Or three times.  I want to encourage you to opt out again.  Plant a vegetable garden in your back yard.  Join a CSA.  Frequent a farmer’s market.  Teach yourself to can.

These choices matter immensely and can provide wonderful topics for family discussion about food, its sources and our responsibility to care for and enjoy the bounty of God’s creation.  More importantly, however, they provide us, as individuals and families, with the chance to stand out in an otherwise homogenous culture.

Related posts:

• Rituals and Communities
• A Laundry Room Life?
• Dr. Gerald Culley Teaches on History, Philosophy and Mt. Sophia- Part I

I have been asked to share some advice on cooking for large family gatherings.  Although I am certainly no expert, I have had a fair amount of experience with this over the last 25 years as I have hosted family and church dinners in my home and participated in a “dinner co-op” which entailed my making dinner for five families at a time once a week.  I’ve made my share of mistakes and earned more than a few gray hairs from the panic that accompanied them, but in the process I have learned some ways of making this task more manageable.  I hope this will be a help to some of you who may not have tried your hand at a large meal yet.

1.  Make a Menu – Do this well ahead of time and put everything on it, even dishes that others are bringing.  Keep a list where you will not lose it to make sure you don’t forget anything.

2.  Smart Shopping – Use your menu to make a comprehensive list of items you will need.  Don’t forget to list any staple items you are low on.  You don’t want to be in the middle of making pumpkin pie when you find you are out of sugar.  Staple a copy of your menu to your grocery list when you go shopping just to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything you need.

2.  Food with Forethought – Choose as many dishes as possible which can be prepared ahead of time.  You may be surprised at how many dishes not only work when made ahead, but are even better that way.
Examples:  Cook turkey the day before, slice when cold, lay in pan with gravy, cover with foil, and
reheat the next day.  Ham works well this way too.
Make mashed potato or sweet potato casserole the day before.  All of the labor intensive, messy
work will be done and cleaned up and you will only have to heat the casserole in the oven.
If possible, choose baked vegetable dishes (i.e. broccoli casserole, green bean casserole) that do
not require you to cook vegetables on the stove at the last minute.
Make gravy ahead of time and reheat just before serving.  Gravy is too risky to be making at the
last minute.  You can even use canned gravy and skip the prep altogether.
Prepare any cold dishes the day before, place in serving dishes covered with plastic wrap in the
refrigerator.  They will be ready for the table without any more work.
Desert is one part of the meal that should be easy to do ahead or farm out to someone else.
I struggle with this one, because I like pies the day they are made, but no one else seems
to care.

3.  Designate your Dishes – Make sure you have enough pans and casserole dishes for everything you are cooking.  Whenever possible cook items in dishes which look nice enough to place on the table.  This saves you a lot of cleanup and keeps the food hotter for longer.  If a casserole dish is too hot to pass at the table, try setting it in a basket.  Also, make sure you have leftover containers readily available to make the clean-up go smoothly.

4.  Corral Your Crock Pot – Use your crock pot to free up oven space.  Many dishes work well in the crock pot and fit with the “make ahead” rule.  You can do baked potatoes or baked sweet potatoes, mashed potato casserole, and even stuffing in a crock pot.  Most any casserole-style vegetable dish will also work well in a crock pot.  Ham works if you have a large crock pot.

5.  Coordinate Chores – Look over your recipes and separate the steps to make the job as efficient as possible.  For instance, if you have to chop vegetables for several different dishes do that all at the same time before beginning any of the specific recipes.

6.  Terrific Timing – Work backwards to plan when various dishes need to go into the oven or begin cooking on the stove.  You may have to adjust cooking times if you are putting a number of different things in the oven at the same time.  Usually, a general temperature of 350 to 375 will work for anything, you just may need to keep a dish in longer than the recipe calls for.  Remember, if you have made casseroles ahead and they have been in the fridge you will need longer to get them heated through, usually 1/2 again as long as the recipes states.  It is also wise to set them out of the fridge 1/2 to 1 hour before you put them into the oven to bring to room temperature.

7.  Question Quantities – use quantity guides to determine how much meat you need for the number of people you have.  Other recipes usually tell you how many they serve.  Remember, though, if you are having a big meal with a lot of different dishes people will not eat as much of each one.  Take into account what you know about your family or guests.  When making large quantities of casserole-type dishes, remember that they will take longer in the oven.  The denser the food, the longer it will take to heat or cook all the way through.  Consider doing two regular sized dishes instead of one giant one.  They will heat better and you can leave one in the oven on low until the other dish has been emptied.

8.  Share the Suffering – If you have others who are willing to take care of some of the dishes, let them, but choose what will actually be a help.  Dessert is an easy thing to leave to someone else as it can be transported in its finished state.  If you farm out the side dishes, make sure that they are being brought ready to eat.  If someone shows up 10 minutes before the meal with cold green bean casserole which needs to be cooked and your oven is full, you are likely to panic.  If your guests are unreliable consider asking them to bring bread and butter, tossed salad, drinks, whipped cream for the dessert, etc.

Most importantly, remember that the real point of the meal is sharing it with those around you.  Don’t let the stress of making the dishes perfect keep you from enjoying your time with others.  God will bless your efforts.

Related posts:

• Best “Real Life” Books?
• The Banana Peel at the Starting Line
• What Homeschoolers Need to Know About Facebook’s Privacy Changes

Related posts:

• Quote of the Week
• Quote for the Week
• Quote for the Week

I got to thinking- I will probably be a grandparent one day. What if my adult kids come to me and ask me how to be a good parent?

Made me have an existential crisis.

So, I thought to myself, “Self, why not ask everyone you know- What did their parents do right?”

Then I congratulated myself on the wisdom of the idea and decided to follow through.

Will you help me out, here?

Younger people- what have your parents done right so far in parenting you?

Older people- what did your parents do right in parenting you?

I can assemble our collective wisdom. Then I’ll be ready if anyone asks…

Related posts:

• Dr. Gerald Culley Wraps Up His Story and Gives the Object Lesson
• Best “Real Life” Books?
• The Banana Peel at the Starting Line